What is a twin flame?
A twin flame is a deep soul connection you feel with one or a few people in your lifetime. The term is used to describe relationships that transcend time and space. Many people even refer to twin flames as your “mirror soul” or “other half”.
People know that depth-oriented relationships alter lives and can catapult a person to another level of personal development. It’s no wonder everyone is so intensely excited about such a rich experience.
They’re definitely not alone in their desire to have the connection of a lifetime and ask, “Do I have a twin flame?” They know they’re ready for the relationship they’ve always wanted. They just aren’t sure what a twin flame really is.
Let’s clear something up; twin flames are another way of saying there is another soul in the universe that will match your energy and show you more of who you are.
Misunderstandings with twin flames
Years ago, there were endless blogs and books centered around soulmates and how to find “the one.” My theory is now that people feel they aren’t getting that soul-devouring love or the one person they can count on forever, they are turning to the twin flame description as a source of healing and hope for true love.
The negative effect of this is that people often fall prey to bad advice, leaving vulnerable people obsessing over relationships that were never meant to be in the first place.
Sadly, these folks may destroy their current relationships chasing a twin flame phantom or feel pressured to remain in a toxic situation thinking it’s part of the twin flame push-pull dynamic.
In today’s relationship climate, it’s becoming increasingly rare to have one person you’re guaranteed to stay with forever. We are no longer bound by borders, we’re less likely to accept mistreatment, and we intrinsically know that there’s someone else out there if our current relationship situation doesn’t work out.
This may actually be a favorable situation in the end. The words twin flames, flame relationships, and flame journeys expand our vocabulary to show that humans are evolving and we must be more aware that our relationships have several stages of evolution.
Purpose of a twin flame
The purpose of a twin flame is to teach us valuable lessons on how to love and be loved, what makes us tick, and how to experience pain yet still be open to vulnerability again for the right person. Twin flames relationships are deep relationships that include the mental and emotional body.
The relationship and its purpose transcend the sensual physical pleasures that we usually seek, and we find a more spiritual approach is necessary. In other words, its purpose isn’t to simply have a better sexual relationship but to cultivate a mind, body, and soul connection that changes our lives.
8 Stages of twin flame relationships
Twin flames can fall into various stages of evolution. These stages indicate where the relationship currently is and where it ultimately needs to go. Remember that time is not linear, and neither is the twin flame journey or the people that have karmic ties to it.
What stage of the process the relationship is in does not dictate how close to reaching stage eight it is—in fact reaching stage eight is never the goal. It’s common to fluctuate between the stages.
Don’t be discouraged if you find yourself at stage six only to discover you’re immersed in Stage four a few months down the road—the challenge is healthy.
Twin flame relationships are a delicate dance of running up against personal and mutual tests, recognizing the opportunities for growth, and pushing past discomfort to evolve your twin flame connection.
Consider the evolution of your relationship and these stages as steps toward a more elevated and emotionally mature self.
Stage one: Longing
This stage is crucial because it is where you start to establish the magnetic energies required to attract the person you’re beginning to long for. This longing may have started at an early age, come to you during a toxic relationship or surfaced after a traumatic experience. What’s created is a longing for balance and the desire to share life with someone consciously—in other words, you want to be happy.
This longing can show up as an urge to journal about your ideal mate or you begin to meditate on the way you’d like to be treated by your twin soul. Give yourself the chance to be vulnerable again but on your own terms.
Stage two: First sight
Stage two is when you finally see and connect to the person you’ve been energetically creating space for. This will most often be a chance meeting, a passing by, or an encounter you didn’t expect in a place you often frequent.
You may have seen this person many times, but upon seeing them this time the physical body beings to brew the chemicals needed for this intense twin flame bond. That single sighting will then snowball, and you may begin to see this person more often.
People will start talking about knowing them, you may get a friend request, or you might be best friends with the person that has grown up around them their whole life. Open yourself deeply to this flame relationship in stage one so that stage two is a downstream process.
Stage three: Surrendering to love
Stage three is pretty simple, but it taps into centers of vulnerability you may not be ready to experience yet. This could be someone professing love before you’re ready or vice-versa.
It may also be represented as two people unwilling to put down the friendship role and allow a more profound love to flow through. Maybe the both of you have been severely hurt in the past, so you have buried the emotional parts of yourself leaving only the physical and sensual aspects.
While this stage in evolution can be challenging to pinpoint, it’s essential to realize that your emotional body will respond far quicker than your analytical mind.
Stage four: The perfect relationship
You will see this flame connection as the perfect relationship, at times it may seem too good to be true. It may also seem as if the relationship is following the fairy-tale narrative we always hoped would experience.
This is the benefit of surrendering to love- you finally get to know what it’s like to love and be loved in the ways that make you feel whole and healthy.
Stage five: Outer disorder & releasing inner wounds
Stage five is where you begin to see the cracks in your relationship dynamics. What’s optimistic about this evolutionary phase is that the outer dysfunctional habits you’re used to mixing with the inner wounds you are trying to heal, and you’re ultimately thrust into the discomfort needed to reach another level with your twin soul.
This is when increased communication comes in. You may want to seek a professional’s help to learn new ways to talk to each other. It’s never too early in the relationship to suggest new strategies for healthy communication.
Stage six: Runner and chaser
Stage six can be a difficult one to go through. You both struggle to not leave the relationship but have a hard time staying because of the level of the emotional discomfort felt inside. This is a crucial period of transformation that should be handled as the natural process of humans needing space to gather and see themselves.
The constant breaking up to get back together again is not stage six—that is an unhealthy habit of returning to and trying to force something that desperately needs changing.
Stage seven: Surrender and closure
Stage Seven is where you surrender to each other or amicably tell one another that you tried this lifetime and are thankful for the journey. Remember, not all twin flames will last. Getting to stage eight is not the ultimate goal.
Instead, it could be the growth-oriented process of leveling you up for the Oneness you’re about to receive after the twin flame relationship closure. Remember to always view relationships as opportunistic for expansion, not mistakes.
Stage eight: Oneness
This stage should be described as a oneness with the self. It’s about attaining an inner level of satisfaction due to the decisions you’ve made up to this point. This stage doesn’t mean oneness with the person for all eternity, but it is oneness with yourself that you won’t be able to let go of.
No matter the outcome of any relationship, you feel happy with how your life is going and the goals you’re working toward.
27 Signs you’ve found your twin flame love
- A magnetic attraction makes you feel connected and can be sensed throughout your body.
- You can be afraid to approach the relationship, knowing internally that it will not end well.
- Your intuition is always telling you something about your motivations.
- Deep suspicion about their motivations can be your first reaction upon meeting and is considered a flame reunion.
- The weaknesses and strengths you possess are evenly matched to balance one another.
- You may experience anger when you see their face again for the first time.
- You know in your body that you’ve been connected in another lifetime.
- You and this person may catch a common cold when you spend extended time together as your immune system adapts to one another to get stronger.
- You may be both driven towards a higher spiritual purpose together.
- The uptick in occurrences of Déjà vu or memories of past lives has increased in your life.
- You are immediately emotionally bonded and instantly start a relationship.
- You can be business partners, lovers, friends, and educators together.
- This person repeatedly shows up in your life and can span many years.
- You may have a similar upbringing where you circled each other geographically.
- Your names are oddly similar, as well as your birth dates.
- You will sense that time and space are irrelevant when you’re together.
- You can’t stop talking to each other, planning for the future, and aligning your values.
- You could enter a relationship together within a few days while professing your love to everyone—this will seem completely normal to you; however, everyone around you will be scratching their heads.
- There may be a considerable age gap between you, upwards of 30 to 40 years.
- You may argue and disagree about minor issues daily.
- You will feel a sense of relief when they are in your presence.
- You will see a lot of confirmations with the number 11 and see them everywhere.
- There is an eerie feeling that you have yet to meet your person, and they appear.
- There is a deep love you can feel regardless of the physical time spent together.
- People will assume the two of you have been together for a long time.
- Synchronicities about your connection will be everywhere.
- You may have spent a few years circling each other; one person can be in a relationship, while the other isn’t and vice versa.
Twin flame vs. soulmate
Soulmates are a different kind of relationship- one that is easier for the body and mind to absorb. While soulmates have made a pact to meet each other again in this lifetime just like twin flames, this relationship will be intrinsically focused on spiritual connection.
You may meet your soulmate at a spiritual retreat, during a yoga class, during a church service, Or maybe you’ll find them while leveling up your mind through school, the library, or programs that elevate your thought process.
Twin flame relationships have also been falsely compared to platonic soulmates, but these connections differ greatly.
Twin flame relationships are one of the many connections you will have, whether spiritual or otherwise. These relationships are more common these days as people experience the diversity of influences worldwide.
What happens if I break up with my twin flame?
Breaking up a twin flame love is one of the roughest separations you will experience. First, you must give yourself time to heal whatever wounds or misconceptions you’ve gone through.
Your twin flame needs to heal as well. Pushing the other person to resolve the situation will never work out well, so the more patience and inner power you can call upon, the better.
In times like this, taking your vitamins, taking long baths or showers, and nourishing yourself with small meals are essential. Depriving yourself will not bring the magnetism back to your body and Soul, so take care and watch how things transform.
Where did the idea of “twin flames” come from?
The idea of twin flames can be seen as far back as Greek mythology, where it was first described in Plato’s mythic dialogue, “The Symposium.” This story takes place at a dinner function full of men discussing the reason for love. While they drink and exchange theories, they say the reason for love is to attain a sense of beauty and good in the world.
Many arguments ensued about the existence of all types of beings whether female, male, or gender fluid, and discussed at length the purpose of living through the eyes of the Gods.
“And so, when a person meets the half that is his very own, whatever his orientation. . . then something wonderful happens: the two are struck from their senses by love, by a sense of belonging to one another, and by desire, and they don’t want to be separated from one another, not even for a moment . . .” – Plato, Symposium
They speak about the state of longing one has to be in to reach the goodness of who they are, a state we can only get to while enveloped in this type of intense desire. This can be seen in more recent writings like Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet and was repeated in Arthur Laurent’s Westside Story.
Plato also throws in that humans were born with 2 heads, 4 arms, and 4 legs. The Gods were so upset at what they considered to be a horror that Zeus split humans in half.
“I think I have a plan,’ he said, ‘that would allow human beings to exist and stop their misbehaving: they will give up being wicked when they lose their strength. So I shall now cut each of them in two. – Plato, Symposium
“If you reflect for a moment, you will see that it isn’t merely probable but absolutely certain that one desires what one lacks or rather that one does not desire what one does not lack…” – Plato, Symposium.
This desire is evidenced in religions such as Hinduism, which talks about the deities Shiva (The Creator) and Shakti (The Destroyer) circling each other for divine balance—one not existing without the other. They also speak of Krishna and Radha, who are deities that journey with one another to experience divine love.
If you start to pick apart some of our culture’s texts, movies, and history around the world, I’m sure you’ll be able to identify language such as this that points to the fact that we do have a soul connection with someone, whether it’s called a twin flame or not. The energy behind the words exists and ripples throughout history in almost every culture.
FAQs about twin flame relationships
Can you have more than one twin flame?
There is an old-school thought that you have only one soulmate or person with that you could connect in a lasting way, but that isn’t true. You have contracts with many people in this lifetime that help you learn lessons and elevate your life with their presence, like an activation. Our lives are long on earth, and it takes many repeated attempts to get things the way we need them.
Therefore, the amount of twin flames is specific to your Soul’s evolution. If you have had a lot of relationships in your life, where a lot you can’t take good experiences from, you can bet you have many twin flames. Those with few, yet good relationships that taught them how to love more deeply, there is an excellent possibility they will have less.
Are twin flames meant to be lovers?
Twin flame relationships are meant to teach you about deep connection- whether it’s a quick relationship or something long-term the intensity of the connection often leads to you being lovers. However, some twin flame connections never get the chance to develop into romance because of the friction created.
Our twin flame is here to reflect us back to ourselves- they are essentially a mirror of our emptiness, emotive maturity, and ability to self-soothe. Most importantly the relationship is meant to show us that through our self-development and growth we can learn to open up to vulnerability for the right person.
Are twin flames common?
Twin flames and their journey with one another are extremely common and are now more common than a soulmate connection.
Does everyone have a twin flame?
Everyone has a common twin or twin flame, but not all will have the opportunity to experience a twin flame relationship due to everyone’s unique life circumstances.
Do you only have one twin flame at a time?
Twin flame relationships are not bound to time and space. While you will not likely experience dealing with two twin flames at once, you can bet that when you are in a twin flame relationship (with one), there are other souls out there wanting to help guide you if you need it.
Can a twin flame be a soulmate?
Twin flames and soulmates are different kinds of connections, and you will not find them intertwined with each other. If you have difficulty deciphering if your person is your twin flame or soulmate, refer to the section titled: 27 Signs you found your twin flame love to find the unique differences between an effortless soulmate connection and one very challenging but rewarding twin flame relationship.
Why are twin flame relationships so intense?
Twin flame reunions can be intense because the longing has been building for months, (maybe)years or even lifetimes, (depending on the person). The momentum created by the desire for a flame relationship creates a force and intensity that cannot be ignored.
Is there such a thing as a false twin flame?
False twins or false flames are not a real thing. Don’t get wrapped up in retrieving or justifying whether a relationship had this depth. Know in your heart it’s true, and draw out any positive and forward momentum lessons you can take with you.
Do twin flames ever disagree?
Twin flames will often disagree as they individually reach pivotal moments of change and growth. This healthy challenge, so long as it’s not violent, is the sole purpose of helping to raise the consciousness of the other and guide them through emotional maturation.
If the flame relationship is new, meaning it’s been lifetimes since your souls have connected again, you can expect disagreements to ensue until you learn each other’s language again. Those who don’t experience many conflicts can assume they have been near this twin Soul in their most recent lifetime.
Can twin flames communicate telepathically?
Twin flames communicate telepathically more often than not. When twin flames have worked out their disagreements, and they are beings trying to be right, dictate what is to happen next, or avoid honest conversations, the ability to talk to one another without saying a word develops naturally.
This takes an immense amount of understanding and willingness to allow the energy frequencies between the two of you to soften so that each of you can be heard.
Over time, you’ll notice that you can see past the words, and a deeper intelligence and understanding is reached more quickly—making compassion for one another the unspoken language of love.
Are there astrological twin flame signs?
No astrological pairs are destined to be twin flames. It is based on what evolution your Soul needs to reach. They can be any sign, nationality, gender, or orientation, so keep your mind open to ALL possibilities!