Do you want him to feel your absence or realize that he’s into you? Making a guy miss you might be just what the doctor ordered.
When a man misses you, it allows him to reflect on how much he wants you in his life. While we can’t control other people, we can change our actions to affect the situation around us.
Since absence does make the heart grow fonder, today we’re looking at 38 ways to make him miss you the most.
1. Try less
Your mind may run laps around the best ways to make him miss you, but sometimes it’s easier to start by trying less.
Many women go out of their way to make an impression on a guy just so that they’re remembered, but the truth is that most great memories and connections happen with less effort. If you two click already, he should naturally miss you when you aren’t together.
Now, if you’re just going home to sleep and plan to see each other in eight hours, don’t get offended if the guy takes this time for himself. So long as you have some actual distance between each other or haven’t seen one another in a while, missing someone you like will happen naturally.
Waiting may be the simplest instruction but the hardest one to carry out. If you’re thinking of this guy and want him to miss you, it’s safe to say he’s consistently on your mind. This makes it hard to wait when you want to text him, surprise him, or do any of the other 38 things we are going to mention.
No matter which approach you choose, once you have it in mind, wait. All too often we jump the gun to try and change a situation to our liking, but this can backfire and make you seem over-the-top or overbearing. If you can wait another 5, 12, or even 24 hours, your approach will work that much better.
3. Make plans with friends
If you’re always doting on this man and prioritizing him in your schedule, you’re going to be ignoring other important people in your life. This tends to happen– especially at the beginning of a new relationship – but that doesn’t mean that it’s OK.
Keep your friends in mind, reach out to them, and make plans together. Commit to these plans no matter what this guy says or proposes to do instead. If he happens to ask and finds out that you’re seeing your friends on this occasion, it’s only going to make you appear more independent and social than before. That sure sounds better than dating a hermit, doesn’t it?
4. Learn together
I’m sure you’re a smart person, and there’s no reason your intelligence should be muffled or limited because you’re with your crush. If you know some fun facts or relevant information about something in your surroundings, share it with this guy. Let him learn from you as much as you – hopefully – learn from him.
If you’re both in the dark about something, Google it and learn the answer. Chances are, the next time that fact or tidbit of information comes to mind, he’s going to automatically think of you and the moment you shared.
5. Go M.I.A. for a while
Going M.I.A. for a little while is a good way to fall off the map and make others wonder where you are. This will make the most impact if you’ve been reaching out a lot lately because your absence will be felt even stronger.
When I say go M.I.A., I want to be clear that you should limit your exit before leaving. If your guy never seems to reach out to you first, you may want to go M.I.A. until he does, but that could end up meaning you two never speak again.
Anywhere from one to a few days should make your point, depending on how often you usually speak. This will give your guy enough time to miss you and ideally reach out to you in the meantime. If he doesn’t say anything after a few days, though, you might need to accept that he isn’t a great communicator, isn’t super interested, or is just clueless.
6. Never beg for attention
You may read this, roll your eyes, and think “I would never beg for attention.” The thing is, most of us have begged for attention without even realizing it at one point or another. This comes in the form of sending back-to-back texts with no reply, continuously starting the conversation with someone who never reaches out first, or anything of the like.
While you aren’t directly asking for attention, these actions are the same as begging for this guy’s time. This is wrong for two reasons.
Firstly, he’ll likely find this unattractive because it seems that you place yourself below him or are too needy.
Second and most importantly, it’s something you should never do because you deserve someone who can’t help but give you most or all of their attention!
7. End your conversations
Sometimes we keep the conversation going way past its expiration date. While we might think it’s better to talk to this guy about boring topics than not at all, this isn’t the case.
This guy could choose anyone to pointlessly chat with every day. What he likely prefers is someone who is going to make an impression, provide riveting conversation, and connect with him. This is why once the conversation seems to reach a natural end, it’s ok for you to end it.
I recommend against not replying or ending the conversation by simply emphasizing or liking their text (as many iPhone users do), as this may seem like you’re uninterested in them.
Instead, you can tell him that you’ll see or speak to him later, wish him a good rest of the day, or leave the ball in his court by saying you hope to hear from him later in the week.
8. Focus on you
When we are into a new guy, it’s easy to lose sight of ourselves and get distracted by new rose-colored glasses. If you want this guy to miss you, you’re going to have to put the glasses down and focus on your own interests, goals, and hobbies once again.
This means prioritizing things that are fulfilling to you, especially those related to health, interpersonal relationships apart from this gentleman, finances, and career goals.
Carve out time every day to focus on the things that matter most to you. You’d be surprised how fast time can fly when you’re working on the things you enjoy. This guy will notice that you’re busy, but he’ll also notice all the personal growth you’re focused on.
Not only that, but when you two do reconnect, you’ll have so many great things to talk about and impress him with!
9. Take things slow
If you give a guy your all from day one, he might think there’s not much more to you than that. One of the best parts of a relationship is learning and experiencing more with a person as time goes on. This is just as emotional as it is physical so, if you can, try to take things slow in both areas.
Avoid oversharing about yourself from the get-go. Wait for him to ask questions or for the topic to arise naturally. Enjoy your first few kisses before letting him see the whole show and you’re also sure to have him missing you much more often.
10. Make him work for it
If no one has told you recently, you’re a gem. You have tons to offer when it comes to dating someone and these gifts shouldn’t be given to just any Joe Shmoe. Make Joe work for it as much as you are.
This means expecting nice dates, effective communication, and respect. Long gone are the days of Netflix and chill. If you can put enough effort into looking like the beauty queen that you are, Joe Shmoe can think of a good date idea and ask you out like a gentleman.
11. Treat him like a pal
Humans tend to want things that other people have or that are forbidden This is the reason behind sayings like, “The grass is always greener on the other side” or “You always want what you can’t have.”
Start treating this guy as if he’s stuck in the friend zone by speaking to him casually, only seeing him in group settings, and so on. Remember that it’s the friend zone, not the best friend zone.
If he realizes that you’ve turned him into a pal, he might just plan an escape route by becoming more present and romantic than you expected. After all, something is to be said about the thrill of the chase.
12. Show up… but just for a second
If you know he’s going to be somewhere public, like a concert, conference, or another big event, show up for only a minute or two. Be sure to pick a crowded event that interests you so that it doesn’t seem like you’re stalking him. Avoid things like bumping into him at his job, favorite restaurant, or local dog-walking park.
Make your entrance – with other friends, preferably – and say hello once you two make eye contact. After a quick hello, excuse yourself to enjoy the event or disappear altogether. He’ll be searching for you in the crowd all night and, if he can’t find you, you’ll be stuck on his mind thereafter until you two speak again.
13. Avoid being an open book
Have you ever met another person who seemed to get you right away? This type of connection makes us want to word-vomit our feelings, past traumas, insecurities, hopes, and dreams to them.
While this may be a way to form a new friendship, it isn’t ideal for forming romantic relationships because it gives too much too quickly. The best relationships are built on trust, and trust is not formed overnight or through the course of three dates.
Share tidbits about yourself slowly, picking and choosing what you disclose. Try to match his pace. If he tells you a bit about a negative childhood experience, for example, you may share one of yours at a later time. Think of this as connecting one secret at a time.
14. Chat with his friends or family
If you already have a relationship with one of his friends or family members, put it to good use and catch up with them. This could be through a phone call, running into them somewhere, or making plans with them if you two are close.
Make sure to chat about exciting or uplifting things and plan a fun outing, if applicable. You’ll want this person to have a positive encounter with you that is worth mentioning.
This encounter is sure to get back to the guy in question, and he’ll have the perfect excuse to both miss you and reach out to you.
15. Focus on the little things
They say it’s the thought that counts, and this holds true when it comes to the little things. Pay attention to the small details that this man shares with you. Remember things like his favorite dessert, things he enjoys or dislikes, and dates or events that are important to him.
Reflect these back to him by doing things he would appreciate. Buy his favorite treats or reach out to him on an important day. You only have to do this once or twice, and he’ll be sure to remember the effort and think about it often after the fact.
16. Surprise him
While absence does make the heart grow fonder, when someone truly disappears, they are also eventually forgotten. Avoid this by surprising him somewhere he would never expect.
If he has a long shift, pop by with lunch or just to say hello. If you want to make it more low-key, you can use the excuse that you were in the neighborhood for something.
Whether you bring him a gift or just surprise him with your presence, be sure he knows you made the effort to see him and that it’s not just a coincidence.
Don’t stay too long – unless he asks you to – and soon head back out to leave him alone and thinking of your reunion.
17. Be genuine
It might be tempting to play games, act like someone else, or put up a front to get a guy to miss you. At the end of the day, though, he’s going to want what he wants. If you aren’t his type, he might miss you at first, but it will eventually fizzle out and be a waste of both of your time.
Be genuine from the get-go. Don’t pretend to like things you don’t or put yourself in any uncomfortable situations to get on a guy’s good side. He should miss you because he likes you – the real you. That is the ideal relationship you deserve and can have.
18. Avoid piling on your messages
Blowing up someone’s phone is never a good idea. If you have something to say, keep it short, sweet, and to the point. Anything more and you may seem needy, over the top, or even annoying.
Trust me, if this guy wants to speak with you, he’ll find the time.
Not only that, but texting can’t accurately depict emotion, tone, body language, or most of the things that make our interactions special. Emojis can only convey so much. If you can, text him only to reply to conversations he is into or to try to make in-person plans.
19. Explore your options
If you’re trying to make a guy miss you, I will assume he isn’t your boyfriend. If he is, you two need to have a serious conversation about what your expectations are for communication.
If he isn’t your boyfriend, on the other hand, nothing is stopping you from exploring other options. Keep yourself busy and see what else is out there. Chances are this guy will come running back into your life the moment you meet someone new because, hey, doesn’t that always seem to happen?
If not, you might put yourself out there and find the real guy you’re supposed to be with – the one who can’t wait to see you again and misses you from the moment you leave!
20. Create a connection
It’s hard to miss something that seems ordinary. You probably don’t miss your very monotone, run-of-the-mill math teacher from college or the mailman who brings you your bills.
This same scenario applies if you and this guy have only had simple, monotonous interactions. To make someone miss you, they have to feel a true connection to you. This is half natural chemistry and half experience.
When you two are together, try out fun activities, be playful, and don’t be afraid to show your emotional side. I’m not telling you to cry or overshare (see #13), but you should truly be in the moment and enjoy your time together. This will help create a real connection that he can’t help but miss when he’s alone.
21. Be trustworthy
Shady people are never missed. If you can show that you’re trustworthy from the beginning of the relationship, this guy will be quick to think of you when something big happens. This could be something negative or a big, positive surprise.
Show him that you’re there for him no matter what happens, and you’ll be one of the first people he thinks to talk with if he believes he can confide in you. How do you do this? Be honest, be genuine, and keep his secrets.
22. Show your quirks
Instead of hiding your snorting laugh, weird facial expressions, or geeky interests, try sharing them. Not all at once, but a few here or there.
What may seem weird to you could easily be seen as cute to this guy, especially if he already likes you. Quirks are what give us personality and make us memorable. If they weren’t quirky, they wouldn’t be memorable in the first place.
Share your quirks and show what makes you unique.
23. Give him space
If you’ve recently spoken with or seen this guy, it’s time to give him space. Space means not texting, DMing, hanging out, or calling for a short time.
Giving him space will provide an environment for reflection. He’ll be able to think about your last conversation or time together. If it’s positive, he’ll be sure to miss you eventually and reach out to you.
24. Keep it cool
Fangirling is appropriate at a Harry Styles concert or if you run into Brad Pitt on the street, but it’s got no place in a relationship. You may like this man, but he’s not the king of the country or the coolest person on earth – even if you mistakenly believe he is.
Keep it cool and limit your compliments and fawning adoration. It’s ok to tell him he looks good, but it’s not necessary to tell him he’s the hottest thing since sliced bread every day.
Save those types of compliments for committed relationships and avoid having him feel superior to everyone else in the meantime.
25. Leave him secret notes
If you spend enough time at his house, near his work or study space, or in his car, leave him a few notes to find when you’re gone.
These could be cute notes mentioning things you like about him, jokes, or even a simple smiley-face and heart combo. Put them in spots that are out of his line of vision, but where you know he’ll eventually look.
When he sees these notes, he won’t be able to think of anyone else, and you may just hear from him immediately.
26. Be mysterious
If someone is described as mysterious, we instantly think they’re cooler and more intriguing than the average person. Mystery lets the imagination run wild, creating scenarios that will probably never happen but keep us entertained nevertheless.
Be mysterious with this guy by keeping him wondering about certain aspects of your life. This is another reason you shouldn’t overshare at the beginning.
For example, you could tell him something as simple as, “There’s a lot you don’t know about me yet,” and you’ll have him chasing you down in no time. He doesn’t have to know that the secret is that you sleep with the light on or are allergic to shrimp – that mysterious comment alone will make him want to see you again soon regardless of the details.
27. Know when to say no
It may be tempting to agree with everything this new guy says. After all, I’m sure you like him and want to give a good impression.
Unfortunately, you might be hurting yourself by doing this because you’re not being yourself, and he could see you as a doormat. If he decides to treat you like one, he’ll only speak to you when it’s convenient for him.
Whether he does this or not, you should know when to say no. This will not only demonstrate your character and independent personality, but he’ll also learn more about you – dislikes included.
28. Stop posting on social media
If you’re hoping this guy will miss you, but you post every part of your daily schedule on social media, he isn’t going to feel the distance.
We have all been tempted to post an attractive story or photo to catch the eye of a certain guy, but all that might get us is a like or a late-night text.
Instead, try going ghost-mode on social media – including not watching his stories or liking his posts. He’ll be quick to notice that you’re MIA and might even care enough to check in and see if you’re alright.
29. Tell him you’re thinking of him
If you haven’t used this line before, send it to him after you haven’t spoken for a day or so. You could use the excuse that you saw something that reminded him of you, or be brave and simply say he’s been on your mind.
Most of the time, this is going to get positive attention, especially if this guy is into you. I bet he’ll even say he’s been thinking about you too!
30. Be memorable
No one gets excited to talk about the weather, the IRS, or inflation. Avoid the topics and scenarios that you’d share with an acquaintance or neighbor and step up your game.
This means talking about funny, controversial, strange, or interesting things. Play fun games together – even if they’re texting games – and use hypothetical questions when you can. As a sure win-win, start conversations around topics you know he’d like.
All of these things will make him remember your conversations as fun and intriguing. Once he’s back to his mundane routine, he’ll be dying to talk to you again and spice things up.
31. Make your hangouts unique
Grabbing a coffee is a fine first date, but you’ll be missed much more if you go the extra mile to make your hangouts unique. This means going to cool new places and coming up with creative date ideas.
Try out things like new sports, hiking, a romantic picnic, a sports event, or even a restaurant with a cuisine that’s new to both of you. He’ll be much more likely to miss you if you share one-of-a-kind experiences than if you’re just another Netflix date.
32. Pause before texting him back
This simple rule has been said from friend to friend over the years, but many of us still have a hard time listening. While you may be excited that he’s started a conversation, I encourage you to wait in between responses – even if it’s just a few minutes.
This will amp up the suspense as he awaits your message, making him wonder about you further and missing you in the meantime.
33. Stop initiating things
You might be the planner of the group, but it’s time to take a step back to see if he takes the reigns. If he’s used to you planning the dates and experiences, he’s going to notice a gap when you stop doing so.
When you stop initiating these things, he’ll be quick to miss that initiation. He’ll either step up to the plate himself or reach out to you because he misses your interactions and plans together.
34. Introduce him to new experiences
If you can try out new things together, this guy will think of you every time he sees or does that thing again. Eat new foods, watch new shows, go to new places, learn new skills, or discuss new topics together.
35. Focus on yourself
This man is a small part of your life and just because he’s in it doesn’t mean he is the focus of it. Your number one priority should be yourself – your health, your social network, your goals, and your happiness.
Who doesn’t love someone who is always reaching for more? Let him see that you are focused on becoming the best version of yourself today.
36. Mail him a gift
Snail mail is almost a thing of the past, so imagine his surprise if he gets a delivery from you in the mail. This could be a letter, package, or card. Wait for a special occasion or mail it any old day to put a smile on his face and leave him thinking of you.
37. Leave your stuff with him
If you’re comfortable, “accidentally” leave some of your stuff at this man’s house or in his car. This could be something like a sweater, your refillable water bottle, or a hair clip.
He’ll soon run into it, think of you, and, hopefully, reach out.
38. Keep your schedule limited
A busy bee is a productive bee with all the honey. That’s how this guy will think of you if your schedule is generously full.
This doesn’t mean that you don’t have time to meet or for yourself. Contrarily, it means you have both but that they’re penciled in at certain times because you are a woman whose time is sought by many.
You may have to implement more than a few of these ways to make him miss you, but it’s important to remember that you can only do so much.
Focus on the things you can control, like your own schedule, friendships, and goals, and you’ll truly end up where and with who you’re supposed to be.
Missing someone should and will come naturally. After all, you are an amazing person who deserves to be appreciated and missed by those in your inner circle!